The Accidental Macing

Well after a crazy few days in Ohio I was ready to get home. I left my hotel and headed off to Canton. I went to the First Ladies National Historic site but, being a Monday morning, it was closed. It was right in the middle of downtown Canton so I pulled over and took a picture and left, figuring I could still check it off my list. Because I hate to travel the same road twice I took a meandering drive northeast out of Canton and ended up in rural Ohio. I even had to slow down for a horse and buggy! Now this is what I'm talking about. I also happened across a covered bridge right after seeing the horse and buggy. I had to stop when I saw the following road sign. My nickname at the Ranch was Porky and this sign cracked me up and brought back some good memories. The sun was out all day and I made it home without event at 3pm.
Well now the fun begins and the best story of the whole weekend. Because I got home early enough I decided to start unpacking. I carried all my stuff upstairs and was unloading my bags when my nose started itching. Due to my cold from the weekend (and the terrible hotel tissues) my nose was pretty raw so I absently scratched it. Then it started hurting even worse. I had some Blistex on my nightstand so I thought I'd swab some of that on to sooth my face. I liberally smeared it all over and immediately felt my face start burning. I poured some water on my hands and started vigorously scrubbing my face thinking it was the menthol in the Blistex that was burning. It just got worse and worse so I ran downstairs and yelled "Mom my face is burning!" She looked and couldn't see anything wrong so she wrapped an ice cube in a paper towel and had me put it on my face. For an hour I kept it on my face and it just kept burning. When the ice cube was melting some of the water hit my lips and tasted spicy but I was in such pain I didn't even think of what that meant.

I was beginning to think I should go to urgent care because a raw nose should not cause me this much pain. After an hour and a half I went to my Dad and begged him to find me some sort of first aid cream or something. He looked to see if maybe I had gotten bit by something but my face was bright red from the ice. He asked what it felt like and I said it feels like there's a hot coal sitting just below my nose. He then asked if maybe I had touched a pepper or something spicy. Finally the searing pain and intense burning made sense and I realized I HAD FREAKIN RUBBED BEAR SPRAY ALL OVER MY FACE!!!

I ran upstairs and looked at the bag I was unpacking and saw that the entire bottom if it was completely soaked. I couldn't believe it. When I was unpacking I noticed that the strap to the big can of pepper spray was off but I thought it had just unsnapped in transit. My Dad had to put industrial strength gloves on and cart all my stuff downstairs to detoxify. He put the compromised cans outside in a bag and the bag turned bright red and you could smell a certain tang in the air. Finally after about 3 hours the intense burning subsided and it was more of a dull ache. The next day I felt like I'd been sunburned. Well now I can highly recommend bear spray as an effective self defense spray. I can only imagine the pain if it had gotten into my eyes. What really baffles me is that it took me almost two hours to realize what had happened. I've never felt a pain like that before. At least I didn't cry though. Bad ass Burnsy.